Some things should remain covered while in public

Freedom of expression in all its glory can be a blessing to an individual and a curse to those viewing. I am all for folks expressing themselves through fashion because I think that it can be a contagious and inspiring way to see someone. I don't mean simply judging a book though we cannot help ourselves from doing just that even in its most "innocent" and small increments. Since I have mentioned the judging aspect of fashion and expressing oneself through clothing let me make this one bold statement, "let's not reveal things (body parts) that shouldn't be seen with our fashion choices."

I hopped in my car early Tuesday morning on my way to put air in my tires after the alarms in my car went off indicating they were low. As I pull up to the side were the air compressor thingy is there is another lady parked there using it. I sit and wait and with nothing to look at in semi-dark I catch a glimpse of the lady that is putting air her tires. She looks to be in here late twenties early thirties. She's not especially thin or attractive but neither am I so no biggie there. She is however wearing what seems to be a black catsuit-like dress that has circles cut out of the sides. Okay, I wouldn't have chosen this attire for 6:45am but I am still not judging until.....she goes to put air the tires on the side of the car within my view. The so called dress is so short that when bent over once can see all the things you shouldn't show to anyone but your husband and your OB/GYN. I was praying for immediate blindness!

If you want to be taken seriously, find a husband, get a job, go clubbin' or whatever it is you are doing then you should apply simple decency rules within your fashion choice lexicon. I feel this way about all fashion in all occasions. Here's what happens when you don't....people will inherently apply stereotypes to you that may or may not be true. While I don't think this is fair because on principle I hate stereotypes but you almost deserve the application when you make bad choices. Dressing provocative I am down for, as it is appropriate, but dressing R rated in public makes me sad and angry.

There is a fine line between fashionista and public menace. When you're walking that line its better to land on the fashionista side of things every time. Just my two cents as a helpful and concerned citizen.

Connected

There are so many ways to feel like you are a part of something. In much of what humans do is all in the quest to be and feel like you aren't the island you thought you were. You can be tapped into a various amount of things that have a spread spectrum networking to each aspect of life and still quest for the pieces that are just beyond your reach. There are the majors like sex in the way that passion elevates it to more than that or love, family, friends and for those that are spiritual (religious) a church. The search for the missing pieces is intense, unyielding and for some with less paths than others its a life quest of self.

The human psyche is seen to encompass three main parts; the soul, self and the mind. To me this means that the quest for networking and searching and finding these pieces is so that we can find ourselves. Being human we complete the blanks through comparison. We cannot help ourselves but to compare against others to measure ourselves so that we know where we stand. Its like lining up by height and figuring out who to stand next to in grade school. The only way to know where you stand is to watch as the line forms. Finding that place is satisfying because now you know where to stand and why and therefore gives you some insight into who you are and that meant one less piece to find.

We don't admit it but so much of who we are is given to us by each other. I don't mean it in a way that we are being cloned more like we are being formed by them like clay on its way to being a bowl. Our experiences and contrasting them with what we see in others helps to explain our inner selves. We are still individuals with separate senses of self and mind. What if our souls are part of a collective energy? It would stand to reason that physical separation would only leave longing. We do the silly, the amazing, the challenging and the defying to complete the triskill that is the human psyche. If our original state was a collective wouldn't it make sense to reconnect? These connections become the quest. The quest to marry, to have kids, to form/reconciliate a family, to find a church, belong to a group, a philosophy, or some other collective to feel and know that we are part of something bigger than ourselves and complete 3 part psyche.

I have done more than a poor job of this...one could say I have not only given up but have failed my quest. The downside of the quest to connect is the failure to find like minded individuals. In connecting with others you are ultimately looking for acceptance. Those groups of people that make you feel like you are 'normal.' The world is more vivid in color when viewing it with those who see it they way you do. If you are always questioned and ridiculed for your view then you are less likely to share. Not sharing can keep others as well as yourself from full self-actualization. Loss of self-actualization is death to one's soul. Its a death that while silent is still impactful to the collective from which it came.

The value of variety is measured everywhere and in everything we do. We understand most acutely is that if were all the same that groupthink would keep us from moving forward lacking the benefit of invention or ingenuity. While necessity would keep us on the slow ride forward variety is still the ingredient that keeps us at the top of the food chain. What isn't measured as often nor valued as much is the ability to connect. The connections we make maintains our humanity, feeds our sense of self, quiets the mind, and nourishes the soul to completeness. In the end all we really want to be is connected.

With the passing of yet another birthday, I am reminded that I have given up this quest and what that might mean to my development and sense of inner peace. I am faced with deciding to either change or risk atrophy.

Your time, like mine, is NOW!

Okay its a recession I get it and people all over are angry; I get that too. Here's what I don't get...5 years ago you were angry when you were making 6 figures too. Help me. How is it that you can walk around pist at the world because you can't manage with plenty talking about 'mo money, mo problems' and now be even more pist when its been taken away. You are looking back talking about how good it was then and you had it all. You don't remember having problems then nor the days you spent ranting about your burdens when you were blessed. Now its gone and in your reflection on the past it was all roses and gumdrops. This time of national hardship could be spent better by us all. If we could work on our humanity as hard and as diligently as we do the advancement of technology and the pursuit of increased capital we would be in good shape no matter the economy. Individually we could spend time with the family that has been suffering in 3rd, 4th and even 5th place behind work and money. We could invest on mending and reinventing ourselves after all life doesn't play with kid gloves so there is nothing wrong with taking care of #1 from time to time. Plenty of constructive things that could be done while waiting for America to finish licking its wounds and heal. Plenty of things that don't include self-immobilization by way of making the past more fantastical than it was.

Seldom do we live in the present. If we aren't looking into the future, we have our heads stuck in the past. I know that times are hard for many and it doesn't seem to be getting any better any time soon but the cycle has to be broken. Appreciation must be felt some where in the present for some thing even the smallest of things. Acceptance would be good if you cannot muster appreciation. Living in this moment with a mind set to see it as it is so later you will still recognize it what it was and not for what it should have been nor as a comparison of what isn't. It would be a challenge because we always want to compare and categorize things and nothing is exempt.

Every now and then I catch myself thinking, "it all could be better if I just....." The truth of the matter is I am so far from where I started in such a positive way that if I stopped all self-improvement now my successes would be enough to see me through to the end. I complain just like everyone else but I need to stop, no I want to stop. When I honestly look back on things, I remember complaining then too and now those are the days that I envy. I have been spending a lot of time reflecting on so many different aspects of my life. Some things make me sad and some quite angry while others still fill me with longing. At the end of each and every journey I take I leave with the question, how will I feel about this moment when I look back on it? How will I compare it? And you know, I feel like if I live this present as if it were my favorite memory then maybe it will be.

Looking into the past or daydreaming about the future can only keep you from spending your now with the intent that the present deserves. The circumstances of now may be far less than desirable but how you spend your time in it can give you life. Not to be incredibly cliche but really it comes to simply this: your time, like mine, is NOW! Get in the middle and spend it wisely.