On normal occasion I love to learn and in the past I have loved to learn in a formal setting just as much as any other casual forum. Since choking in my last attempt to obtain a degree I have become much more apprehensive about my collegiate endeavors. This week marks my return to formal schooling.
I have embarked on a journey I hope to complete. All of the signs of reason are there that this is the right time to go back but for some reason I am in overwhelming doubt of my ability to complete this task. I have not been one to let a task go incomplete and I am not certain why I am now so intimidated by something that use to give me so much joy. As I wait on hold now for Tech Support because my account is already locked out I am starting to feel like I just want to go to bed and read instead of starting a semester of college.
I am sure that there are many things behind my feelings that can all be wiped away with a great explanation or two but I am thinking that maybe the real reason is that I have become really lazy. There was a time where I held down three part time jobs, a full load of courses and raising a 5 year old all while keeping the house cleaned. I have noticed that in the last few years that just raising Cydni and keeping the house cleaned is enough to make me want a nap. Now I am staring college courses in the face again and I am tired just thinking about homework.
What happened to my motivation and ambition to take on the world?
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