Over My Heart

This has been the week of memories. In helping two close friends this week I have recalled some of my favorite memories that happen to take place in the worst times of my life. Yesterday I told Cydni about the day she was born. She loved it. Days ago I recalled my coping mechanism for hard times to a friend, the smile of Cydni and coloring. Earlier in the week I shared with my dad my favorite memory of the woman who gave birth to me. I called my sister to tell her about a favorite memory of her and I long ago. Tonight I laid in bed getting ready to drift off to sleep when a very precious series of memories played out.

It was hard to sleep when she was first born. It wasn't because she didn't sleep it was because I couldn't sleep. I was too busy checking on her to see if she was still breathing. This was just the day she was born, I couldn't imagine setting her down at home. After several hours of laying down and getting up to look at her I finally decided to put her in the bed with me. She was a big baby of 9 pounds at birth. I laid her on my chest and covered us both up in the blankets. We slept for hours. The nurses said that I didn't want to lay my sweet one on her stomach so soon after birth but I smiled and we went back to sleep.

When I finally took the little one home from the hospital I thought maybe we'll try the crib the first night. She slept but I didn't . In the bed she was with me again. Again we slept for hours. Her father didn't understand and was afraid of hitting her in his sleep; he decided to remove himself from our peaceful slumbering and slept on the couch.

Since our relationship didn't last much longer after her birth nothing really changed when I got my own apartment, she was 5 months old. Its sort of weird that my little princess brought me so much comfort and she couldn't even speak. But I do know that she didn't sleep long during nap time but she slept till she was hungry at night time. And that is how for almost a year Cydni Jasmine Stickney slept over my heart.